How to make small talk (with examples that work)

Small talk has a bad reputation, but it does an important job. It is how two people who do not know each other check that the conversation is friendly and find something worth talking about. Nobody has to be great at it; a few simple habits are enough.

What is small talk, and what is it for?

Small talk is light conversation about safe, shared things: the weather, the weekend, the queue you are both standing in. It is not meant to be interesting in itself. Its job is to show that you are friendly and open, and to give both people a low-risk way to find out whether they want to talk more. Skipping it and going straight to deep questions is what makes people uncomfortable; doing it well is what earns you the real conversation afterwards.

A simple method: notice, ask, add

1. Notice something you share. The place, the event, the weather, the thing you are both waiting for, or in a random chat, an interest you both picked.
2. Ask an easy open question about it. “What brought you here?” rather than “Nice day, isn’t it?”
3. Add something of your own. After they answer, share a little in return, then ask a follow-up.

Repeat that loop a few times and you have a conversation.

Small talk examples by situation

At work or a work event

• “What are you working on at the moment that you are enjoying?”
• “How did you end up in this field?”
• “Have you been to one of these events before?”
• “What is keeping you busy outside work these days?”

At a party or social event

• “How do you know the host?”
• “Have you tried the food yet? Anything you recommend?”
• “What have you been up to this week?”
• “Are you doing anything fun this weekend?”

Waiting in line or travelling

• “Is it always this busy?”
• “Where are you headed, if you do not mind me asking?” (Keep it light and do not push.)
• “Have you been here before? Anything worth seeing?”

In a random chat online

• “Hi! What are you up to today?”
• “We both picked travel. Where would you go tomorrow if you could?”
• “Quick question to start: coffee or tea?”
• Or answer the shared conversation starter that appears when the chat begins.

Good small talk topics

• The shared situation: the event, the place, the thing you are both doing.
• Plans: weekends, holidays, things people are looking forward to.
• Recommendations: films, series, books, food, places.
• Light opinions: favourite season, best snack, early bird or night owl.
• Hobbies and interests: what people do for fun.

For dozens more ideas, see conversation topics for talking to strangers and this or that questions.

Small talk questions that work almost anywhere

1. How is your day going so far?
2. Any plans for the weekend, or is it a quiet one?
3. Have you been here before, or is this new for you too?
4. What are you watching or reading at the moment?
5. Is it always this busy?
6. What is the best thing you have eaten this week?
7. Are you a morning person or does the day start at noon?
8. How do you usually spend a free evening?
9. Have you found anything good around here?
10. What got you into that?
11. Are you more of a summer or a winter person?
12. What is your go-to coffee, tea or other order?
13. Been anywhere nice lately?
14. What is keeping you busy at the moment?
15. Did you catch the game, the show, the news, whatever you both might have seen?

Topics to avoid at first

• Money, salaries and prices of other people’s things.
• Politics and religion, unless the setting is about them.
• Health, weight and appearance.
• Personal details such as where someone lives or works, especially online.

From small talk to a real conversation

• Follow the energy. When someone gives a longer answer, that is the topic they care about. Stay there.
• Ask “why” or “how”. “How did you get into that?” opens up stories.
• Share a real opinion. Conversations deepen when both people say what they actually think.
• Try one deeper question when it is going well. There are ideas in deep questions to ask.

If it is not working

Some conversations do not click, and that is nobody’s fault. End it kindly: “It was nice talking to you, enjoy the rest of your day.” Online, pressing Next is completely normal. For more ways to leave gracefully, read how to end a conversation politely.

Practise

Small talk gets easier with repetition. A random text chat is a low-pressure place to practise: you can take your time with each message, and leaving is always one click away.